


Bite Me, Baby

by goodnightfern (orphan_account)



Series: Edifying Discourses in Diverse Spirits [8]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Dubious Consent, Everyone/Snorlax, F/F, F/M, Food Kink, M/M, Potentially Squicky, Rowena/Billie, Turducken, Vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:52:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9799598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/goodnightfern
Summary: "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man?"-Friedrich Nietzsche





	

**Author's Note:**

> you're a great person and i hope you're having a great day.

Cas drives straight through the town plaza, parks as close as he can to the last stall of the farmers market, and leaves the rear door of the station wagon open. Flashes the rubber band rolls in his pocket and nods at the farmer. 

"All of the cabbage. And I do mean all of it."

"What, you got a Snorlax?" the farmer snorts. Cas narrows his eyes and starts hauling cases right off the farmer's stand. 

Of course he has a Snorlax.

Cas has the greatest Snorlax ever.

The cabbage is expensive, but tonight? Snorlax is making up for it.

 

 

Rowena and Crowley know the rules. They had a Snorlax, once. It didn't work out. It was too dangerous. But once they met Castiel' s - well. Not only are they his most frequent and hottest clients, but they bring in plenty of fresh meat.

Tonight, a new woman walks in with Rowena. She looks like she knows exactly what she's getting into. 

"Name's Billie," she drawls. "And I'm guessing that's Snorlax."

Snorlax opens his eyes with interest. 

"How much you wanna start with?" Most beginners go for ten minutes. 

"Thirty."

Cas looks at Rowena, Rowena responds by placing an open mouth kiss on Billie's neck. "Of course, she's ready," Rowena says. "Would I bring a novice with me?"

"You got the cash?" Cas asks.

Billie snorts. Opening her jacket, she reveals a brown envelope and hands it over. Cas counts three grand. 

They're almost ready.

Cas sautees the cabbage in a giant paella pan over the grill. Stripping nude, Rowena and Billie coat themselves in cabbage, rub it into their hair, all over their skin.

At the smell of cabbage, Snorlax comes rumbling over. 

A long, pink tongue grazes Rowena's familiar flesh. Billie is new, though. Snorlax seems to like her, swallowing her first. 

Cas sets his watch, and watches Snorlax's belly distend, listens to the moans of the two women trapped inside. He jerks off furiously, thinking of digestive juices on flesh. 

Once or twice Cas has taken the plunge, but it wasn't the same. He just couldn't get off and the claustrophobia kicked in. It's better from the outside. He likes the shape the men and women he put inside it make.

Cas will never be a Snorlax. He'll never be able to swallow someone else whole. It's not so much like he's prostituting Snorlax so much as he is using him as a personal porn star - wait. That might be worse. This is really dangerous territory, turning Pokemon into sex workers? Snorlax just likes to swallow people. If Cas makes some money off of his Pokemon's hobby - It's a bizarre moral quandary Cas is too tired to ponder. His head hurts, he should be asleep. 

"What's the matter?" a little voice asks.

Cas freezes. 

There's a tiny little fairy standing in his thigh. 

"Come on, buddy. What's eatin' ya? You should be having fun, man." The fairy nods at the Snorlax. "That shit is hot. So the cabbage is the secret, huh?"

"It's easy for him to throw up," Cas says. "And I'm not your buddy, pal."

"My name's Dean, and I am your buddy." The fairy snickers. "I been watching you, Cas. I know what you want."

"Oh, yeah? I'm calling the fucking cops. I'm filing a restraining order."

"Whoa, whoa, man, I'm a fairy! I operate under no human jurisdiction, buddy. I'm just saying. Look at me."

The fairy winks, throws out one hip, and licks his lips. 

Well - Cas is a sick bastard. 

"You want me to swallow you? Is that right?" Cas leans down, grinning at the fairy. 

"Please," Dean whines. "I've always wanted to get swallowed by a human. Other fairies - I just can't."

Dean is the perfect size. 

Cas opens his mouth. Dean hops inside, bouncing on his tongue. 

"It's so warm," Dean marvels. He slides down easily. Dean is too small to distend Cas's throat, but he wriggles inside of Cas' s esophagus. He's practically doing yoga inside Cas's stomach. The fairy comes in a pool of stomach acid before wriggling up.

Cas should've eaten cabbage. He pukes bile, burning his throat raw. 

Rowena and Billie are already showered and dressed. Snorlax is already asleep.

"Looks like you had a good time," Billie says, but from her it sounds accusing. 

Cas blushes, looks for Dean, but the little fairy is nowhere to be found. 

There's no fucking way.

Fairies aren't real. Unless... maybe a Ditto is fucking with him. 

It bothers Cas for an entire two days before Dean shows up naked inside a box of cereal, begging for Cas to pour milk on him. Cas ends up splashing come in his cereal bowl and has to throw the whole thing away. 

After that, Dean shows up more often. 

On Fourth of July, Snorlax has the day off. All of Castiel's Pokemon (he tends towards water types) have a picnic at the woodland lake park. Vaporeon kills two geese. Snorlax eats them both. Typical, really. Can't take Pokemon anywhere. 

Dean shows up perched on a hot dog. Cas just barely avoids killing him with ketchup.

"So," Dean says, nodding at Snorlax. "How about you, me, and he make a Turducken?"

"Turducken? I - oh. Oh, fuck."

Cas looks at Snorlax. Snorlax blinks sleepily back. 

There's no cabbage, but sauerkraut will have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> so i was honestly telling a friend the other day that I've never written or read or seen anything much of vore. so I was gonna write Snorlax vore for sure. anyways, spncoldesthits provided a great opportunity with this month's prompt. I am posting this on mobile I never want to see it again and hence this os my link back http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/156329355040/februarys-prompt-is-pokenatural-posting-dates  
> have a good night.


End file.
